Homesickness: Noun - A longing to return home.

It comes at unexpected times. This morning, it was seeing my Golden Retriever, Guinevere, looking at me from across the world on a Skype camera. She had her chewy bone, like always, in her mouth. At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to be home in my house, in the Central Valley, sitting on the hardwood floor in the family room and petting my dog. I know. It's strange.

When I get homesick here, I feel strange, almost ungrateful. Here I am, living in another country, a country that some would call exotic. I'm lucky, right? How many people want to do what I'm doing and don't get to do it? I'm blessed. I'm lucky!

Nevertheless, it happens. Today, I changed my plane ticket. It is official; I will be back in California on Monday, March 2nd. My time in Thailand has an actual ending. I can see it in the not - so - distant horizon, only six weeks away. Somehow having the date set in stone makes it feel even farther away. I love Thailand. I love Chiang Mai. But sometimes, it feels like I've been here forever and I can't really remember life before Thailand, at least not in vivid detail.

I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss healthy Christian community. I miss Santa Barbara. I miss SCHOOL!

My future is somewhat uncertain. I expect to hear from most graduate schools in mid to late March. I hate that a few people on an application review committee have my destiny in their hands. Yes, I know, I'm being dramatic, but they do have an awful lot of power. I'm looking forward to the next chapter in my life. I'm eager to begin school and be around people who love literature as much as I do.

But for the next six weeks, I hope to live in the moment, enjoy Thailand and enjoy the people that I've met here. We always want what we don't have, right?